Illustration by Marta Pucci
How to advocate for yourself at the doctor
Top things to know:
Prepare by tracking symptoms and noting your concerns
Speak up about how symptoms affect your life
It’s okay to ask questions or seek a second opinion
We all know it’s important to see a healthcare provider for regular checkups or when something feels off. Still, many people believe that side effects from birth control are just “something you have to live with,” and conditions like PCOS or endometriosis are often diagnosed late—if at all. In one study of people with endometriosis, 3 in 5 said they weren’t taken seriously when seeking a diagnosis (1).
Many people face barriers when accessing care. Discrimination in healthcare settings is a reality for many, based on race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, age, income, language or accent, insurance status, weight, or disability (2,3).
That’s why it can take extra effort to have your concerns heard. Whether it’s your first appointment or you’re a seasoned patient, here are some tips to help you feel prepared, confident, and in control at your next doctor’s visit.
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Before your appointment
Find the right doctor
If you have a specific concern, look for someone with expertise in that area. For example, for severe cramps, it may be helpful to find a provider familiar with endometriosis. If your OB/GYN isn’t sure what’s going on, an endocrinologist—a doctor who specializes in hormones—might help.
Personal recommendations, online reviews, or support groups can be useful when choosing a new doctor. For trans people, finding inclusive and affirming care can be particularly challenging, so we’ve created a guide to help find a trans-friendly OB/GYN.
Get prepared
Make a list of what you want to discuss at your appointment, especially your main concern. Note when the symptoms started, how often they occur, what makes them better or worse, and what you’ve already tried.
Clue can help you do this. You can use Clue to track symptoms, bleeding, pain intensity, mood, sleep, digestion, and more. You can view trends over time and bring that data to your appointment. Having a health record on hand can help you explain what you’re experiencing and make a stronger case for getting the care you need.
If you're seeing a specialist, check that they have access to your recent test results and medical records, or bring copies with you. Bring a list of medications you are taking, including supplements and over-the-counter treatments.
Bring support
Having someone with you, like a friend, partner, or family member, can help you feel more confident. They can give you moral support and vouch for your symptoms. Aside from bringing someone you know, you could also look into bringing an independent patient advocate.
A patient advocate is a trained professional (or volunteer) who can accompany you to your visit and make sure your concerns are heard. If you do decide to bring someone, let your provider know who they are and that you’d like them to join you.
At the appointment
Arrive 15 minutes early
Allow yourself extra time to check in, complete any paperwork, and settle in. This can help you feel calmer and more focused, especially if you have important or emotional topics to discuss.
Be clear and assertive
Share your goals for the visit right away. Don’t downplay your symptoms; explain how they affect your daily life. Refer to your notes or your Clue tracking data to stay on track.
If you have multiple concerns, prioritize the most important one. You might need more than one appointment to get through everything.
Some providers may recommend hormonal birth control for symptoms like irregular cycles or heavy periods. While this can help, it may also mask symptoms of an underlying condition. In one small study of 28 people with endometriosis, 26 were prescribed the pill before receiving a diagnosis (4). If you feel your concerns aren’t being fully explored, ask for additional tests or a second opinion.
Ask questions
Don’t hesitate to ask your provider to explain something. If you have your own ideas about what might be going on, share them. Questions like:
“Could it be something else?”
“What side effects should I expect?”
“When should I follow up if things don’t improve?”
These can help guide the conversation and support your decision-making, helping you feel more in control.
Listen to yourself
If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. It’s okay to pause before agreeing to tests or treatment options, or to seek another opinion. Your health is yours to manage.
Take notes
Write down key takeaways, like how to take new medications or what follow-ups are needed. You can also repeat back what you’ve heard to double-check your understanding. If you’d like to record the appointment, be sure to ask first, as it may not be legal to do so without consent, depending on where you live.
After the visit
Review your notes and Clue data
Check what medications or steps you need to follow. If anything is unclear, contact your provider’s office. You can continue to track symptoms or side effects in Clue to monitor whether your treatment plan is helping.
If you got a diagnosis
Whether it’s a relief or a shock, give yourself time to process. Talk things over with someone you trust.
Be careful online
Research can be empowering, but not all sources are reliable. One study found that up to half of sexual health websites included misinformation (5). Stick to trustworthy sources, such as helloclue.com, for accurate and evidence-based information.
You did your best
It’s not always easy to speak up, especially in a medical setting. Celebrate any steps you took towards self-advocacy, big or small. Your health is worth fighting for.
Clue can support you every step of the way
Tracking your cycle and health experiences with Clue can help you notice patterns, prepare for your next appointment, and document symptoms that might otherwise be dismissed. It can also give you the language and confidence to speak up when something isn’t right.
